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The Power of control



So last year, after completing executive coaching sessions for a mid size company for their executives, and this is based out of Dallas, the CEO of the company, he just asked me if I would like to join him over lunch. And so we went to the steakhouse right down the street. And though I am a vegetarian by choice, but I’m not much of a foodie, so I went with him and we had some great discussions over life and over how the economy is shaping up. And I got to spend some really productive time with him out there in the steakhouse. And after we completed the lunch and we were heading to the cashier to pay off the bills, I noticed that the cashier was really very rude. He was complaining and seemed very offmouth to me. While the CEO of this company, he was handing over his credit card, I saw how he was greeting him and smiling and speaking to this cashier who really behaved very rudely and did not really look up to even answer back.

So while we were heading to our cars, I just asked him, I said, so tell me something here you come to the steakhouse quite often. Is this cashier always like this? Very rude and complaining and not even looking up to his customer and smiling? He said, oh my goodness, Always. He said, whenever I’m here, I see him like this every time. And I said, “oh my gosh, that’s bad”. And I said, tell me one thing, are you always like this? Like the way you smiled at him, you spoke with him, you wished him a great day. He said- “yes,I am always like this”. And that day when I was looking at this incident and I asked him, I said, why would you do that? And he said, oh, because Payal I am in control.

And I just loved the way he ended that conversation and our meeting. I think each of us, we’ve got to ask ourselves, you know, we have got to work on ourselves so that we can control the spirit of our day.

See, when you wake up in the morning, your brain is operating at peak level. That’s when the subconscious mind is most impressionable. Whatever you hear or read in the first 20 minutes, it is going to affect your day. And as you begin to work on yourself, you begin to expand your vision of yourself and you will be in high control of your emotions and responses. And I think this is extremely important because just like he meets this cashier as a leader at your office, you’re going to meet plenty of people.

So you’ve got to begin developing yourself because if you don’t, I can guarantee you, you will allow others to hijack your day, your agenda, your goals and your dreams. And soon you’ll begin to settle for less than. You will start becoming angry and depressed and you will feel that others up there are luckier than you. Well, I think when you begin to work on yourself, you become powerful and you begin to be in control of your day, of your mind, your emotions, your health, your relationships at work. And I really believe there is power and control.

See, as a leader, there’s a lot of expectations from us. We have to manage the stakeholders, innovate, make tough decisions, deal with team members and bosses of all kinds. You must inspire others, grow yourself into the next role, and just so much more on your plate. And so in what state you operate each day is important because your state of operation creates your work, culture and environment.

I remember hearing something called bioenergetics. Bioenergetics means your energy flows through living systems. It means that energy flows through living systems, which means your energy level, whether it is high or low, impacts others who come in contact with you. Now, human energy is very contagious. That’s what I say. Now, as a leader, your energy can determine the success of a meeting, your work day. It can determine your environment and your culture and it really sets the tone. And so if you have a boss who is rude or uncooperative and unappreciative or a team member who is always trying you and trying to press the buttons on you, well, in that case, you have to see that you do not allow their energy to consume you.And you are going to be consumed and absorbed by their energy if you have not practiced being in control of yourself.

The power of control is in you being responsible for the energy that you carry around and how you do not allow somebody else’s energy to consume you. And you show your power of control right by the choices that you make. Like you can either join in the energy that somebody is bringing and you’ve got an add to that energy or you can choose to change that energy or you can just choose to walk away.

So for all of this to happen, you have to be in control. You have to be in control of yourself. So when you are in control of yourself as a leader, you begin to develop the ability to regulate and alter your responses towards situations and people. In fact, for over 15 years I have been coaching executives and senior leaders on how to be in control of their thoughts, their feelings and their behaviors because it fundamentally puts the power back in the individual’s hand. As leaders, you’ve got to have a high internal locus of control. In fact, in my recent book — Win the Leadership Game, every time, I have written about how you can hack your mornings by a simple self optimisation technique.

And when you practice this technique, it will get you to prepare yourself for the rest of the day. You begin to increase your productivity, you begin to lower your stress, boost your energy level, improve your relationships at work, improve your confidence, and reduce procrastination. So when you practice this self optimization technique, you will see how your cortisol will spike in the morning to help you feel alert and energized and that your body will produce the melatonin at night that will help you to sleep well. And that’s how your next day’s performance gets determined at work. So optimizing your morning can have a snowball effect.

So start being in control of your life !

Your Good Friend + Mentor Payal Nanjiani Leadership Expert | Author| Executive Coach


 

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