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Have you ever asked yourself why successful leaders are successful? It is their ability to detach themselves from a given situation. 

Detachment means staying away from the outcome. It means doing what you love without worrying about the outcome, it's about enjoying the process. 

And let me tell you, it's pretty difficult in the corporate world to be a leader who is detached because as leaders, we are constantly reminded to achieve results. 

We are defined by our results, we are known by our accomplishments and what we have. We carry work home with us. Work is on our mind all the time. We keep thinking about the problems, the people, the people's behaviors. 

And so sounds counterintuitive because after all, in business we are judged every single day, every month, every year by our numbers. 

But on the other side, I also remember what actor Bryan Cranston once said, and he had written this in his autobiography, that ordinary people focus on the outcome. Extraordinary people focus on the process. 

In fact, many sports coaches like Morgan Wharton have reminded us to evaluate wins and losses objectively, focusing more on effort and execution than on the outcome of the game. 

One of the places where we find detachment hard is in our relationships with people. We believe that our happiness is in how our boss treats us, in how our teams talk with us, in how our stakeholders deal with us. 

You must be able to deal with people without attachments. Which means that when you don't get from them what you want, you don't become immobilized. You don't become angry or sad or depressed

 No one can give their best performance at whatever they do if part of their mind is preoccupied with the tension and worry of the result. 

I wrote a leadership book some years back called Achieve Unstoppable Success in Any Economy, and there is an entire chapter in that called "Leaders Surrender." 

I encourage and challenge you to take a close look at the attachments in your life. 

Do you place more importance on things outside of yourself than on things inside you? Does your goal and attachment to results get you into a monkey mind state? 

Are there things, when you surrender them, that will allow you to achieve your dream? Are you truly giving your best at your workplace? 

The best way to be detached and lead is to understand that all that exists is temporary; nothing lasts.

All relationships and situations will end or change. When we don’t fully appreciate this simple but profound truth, we suffer in business and life. So does this mean one should leave everything, Surender, and go to the Himalaya to meditate? Absolutely not! Do just the opposite. Work harder, because you know nothing is permanent. It will pass. As will the good times. As will the bad times. As will the businesses that you build, and the relationships you develop. As will success and failure. All of it. All of it at some point will cease to exist, as you either cease to exist or situations evolve. And because you know everything is impermanent, you’ve got to work harder every day. This mindset now makes you unstoppable. 

Your Good Friend and Mentor

Payal Nanjiani

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